I wish I could tell you I showed up as my best self all the time, but that would be a lie.
The truth is that I barely showed up as okay a LOT of the time.
As a business owner, a mom, and a wife, there’s this constant pressure to hold it all together. To stay calm, capable, and in control even when life feels like it’s unraveling. But I'm constantly reminded of the hard, humbling truth: none of us can do this alone.
When my husband Mike, who has Hodgkin’s lymphoma and Crohn’s disease, started running a dangerously high fever, we ended up in the ER, where he receives most of his care.
What followed was a whirlwind: a COVID diagnosis, bacterial and viral pneumonia, sepsis, and MRSA. Tests. IVs. Hazmat suits just to walk into his room. Nights with no sleep. My body was locked in fight-or-flight, mostly freeze.
Through it all, I felt like I was failing everyone. My team, my clients, my family, myself. But as I sat there in that hospital room, one thought kept coming back: this is exactly why we need each other.
Somewhere along the way, so many of us were taught that needing help is a moral failure. That strength equals self-sufficiency. That asking for support makes you less.
I believed that for a long time, too. But I can tell you now: it’s not true.
My entire business is built on helping other people, yet even I need the reminder. I can’t do it all. You can’t do it all. And we’re not supposed to.
The thing about community is that you can’t build it overnight. You have to tend to it when life is good, so it’s there to hold you when things fall apart.
I’m endlessly grateful for the people in my life who showed up for me and my family. When I needed someone to watch my son so I could rush Mike to the ER, my team didn’t hesitate. When we had a 50-pound bag of chicken feed and neither of us could lift it, a friend dropped everything to help.
Your village doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. But it does have to be intentional. Here’s what I’ve learned about building one:
Pour into others consistently. Relationships built only when you’re in crisis can feel transactional.
Notice who you trust. Who do you feel safe calling at 7 PM on a Monday? Those are your people.
Say yes to help. Even when it feels uncomfortable. Especially when it feels uncomfortable.
One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen is how support ripples out. When someone shows up for me, it frees me up to care for Mike. When we show up for our clients, it frees them up to care for the people they love.
This is the heart of Queen of To Do. We don’t just manage tasks; we give people the bandwidth to show up fully for their lives. And it’s not a one-to-one reciprocation. It’s a web. A village. A circle of care.
If you’re carrying it all right now, please hear me: you don’t have to.
Check on your people. Let them check on you. Fill the gaps where you see them in other people’s lives. And when you find yourself barely showing up as okay, know that you’re not failing. You’re just human.
Because the future of luxury isn’t a product. It’s you. Whole, rested, and supported.
And if you need someone to take a little weight off your shoulders, we can help.
What part of work-life balance feels the hardest for you to hold right now?
Let us know in a comment below.
We’re listening and taking notes for the next CEO Mom’s Guide.