Bearing It All EP 4: Vision & Voices with Michelle Savage

Kate (00:01.304)

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Bearing It All podcast. I am Kate Ginsberg. I am so excited to introduce you to the fantastic and engaging Michelle Savage. Michelle is an international bestselling author, keynote speaker, and the founder of Sulit Press, a boutique publishing house in Austin dedicated to elevating the voices of women entrepreneurs, executives, and creatives. Michelle, thank you so much for being here today. I'm so excited to chat with you. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what led you to launch Sulit.

Michelle Savage (00:30.478)

Well, hello, Kate, thank you for having me. What led me to launch Sulit? There's sort of two versions of this. I know, I didn't grow up going, I'm gonna open a publishing house. I did as a little kid think I'm gonna be a famous author and among other things that I, yeah. We're not dead yet, we'll see. So there were two pieces that played into Sulit. There's the very practical side and the very,

Kate (00:46.483)

enough, you're there.

Michelle Savage (00:59.79)

Woo-woo side and the practical side I was already working with authors to help them write and publish their books and then because I had a content background or content generation background I would help them to do the marketing and the launch of their books and so then I would help them be a liaison between the author and their publisher. But more often than not, I was not really thrilled with the services they were receiving from their publishers in the hybrid publishing world

which if you know anything about hybrid publishing, it can be a little wild westy out there. So you really have to do your research before you sign on with one but what happened was they would have a great sales team member, have them sign this very professional looking contract, and then they basically became a number in what felt like a book mill. And I was just heartbroken for them because I had a

close relationship with all of my authors. was a really, I was just honored to get to be on this journey with them and help them share their story and put it out. And I was aghast, truly like, how can this be? And so we're tracking down services and all of that. So something in my brain was like, I can do this better, even if I don't know what I'm doing. And I went down the rabbit hole that...

Kate (02:07.928)

you

Michelle Savage (02:20.118)

It was just a learning rabbit hole where I absorbed everything I possibly could. But then when we got started, I brought on consultants to make sure that we did it really, really well. And then I never was going to have someone say yes to working with me and then feel like a number or be looking for their services. So that's the more like logical, reasonable sounding thing, which is also true. Not lying here. It's a true piece of it. But the other piece of it is that

Kate (02:37.422)

right.

Sure.

Michelle Savage (02:49.94)

At the time, I had a pretty successful business. Before I said I'm gonna do this next phase of it, was a freelancer, but I had ongoing retainer clients. I was writing for, helping a lot of different authors with the editing and the launching of their stuff, but I was working with other small businesses on their content, brand voice and all of that. And so I sat down on my little meditation cushion one morning and I said, all right.

You up there. I have a hunch that you're ready for me to do something else because there was just this feeling where I'm like, I know there's something more required of me and I know that I just don't know what it is. You know, I didn't, couldn't quite put my finger on the direction to go and I just, show me what you've got. Show me what is my next best step. And it really was this like open a publishing house sense in my brain.

And instantly I was like, no, that sounds hard. I don't want to. Because one thing I love about freelancing is you only have to manage yourself. There's no team members. You're not worried about payroll. There's not a lot of moving parts in what I was doing before. And there are a lot of moving parts in publishing. And then I just stopped and I said, hold on. I did just ask. And so.

Kate (03:49.58)

Seems like a lot of work.

Kate (04:11.59)

I don't love the answer, but yeah.

Michelle Savage (04:15.124)

Yeah, but it did. made so much sense when I really sat down and went, oh right. And so I mapped out a plan and it just all fell into place. And as soon as I actually said yes to it and went ahead and took the steps along the way, I kept meeting people who were there to help me out there. They knew what I didn't and I brought them on as team members or as consultants.

From there, we were able to build out our publishing program into what it is today. yeah, it wasn't like I graduated from school and went right into this. was a, I put things together like, yeah. I feel like my life and my business is sort of like a menagerie of found objects, but they've been carefully curated over time.

Kate (04:54.688)

just like, surprise, we're doing this. And he went, okay.

Kate (05:08.608)

a real hardcore like magpie or crow brain where it's just like collecting all of these shiny objects and like they all come together in a really cool way but it feels a little weird from time to time.

Michelle Savage (05:20.952)

But that just means you're just following what lights you up. know, that's so, so many people are like, I can't pick that shiny thing up. It doesn't match the other shiny things that I have in my satchel. Like, I'm like, let's throw it in there. We might use it later. Yeah. You can always edit. Yeah.

Kate (05:30.69)

the other shiny thing, right? Let's see what happens. That might be cool. It's fine. Well, and even if it's just a pretty shiny thing for a little while, that's still a pretty shiny thing in your life. Like, I'm here for that.

Michelle Savage (05:43.064)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I have no qualms about following joy. That's the whole thing. Mm-hmm.

Kate (05:49.58)

No, it's the best, really, when you just get to kind of move through life and pick up the pieces that serve you and like you said, light you up and then let the rest of it go. Like, people get trapped on life paths sometimes where they're doing what they've been told is the right thing, but not the right thing for them.

Michelle Savage (06:12.086)

I am a huge proponent of lighting the match and starting over in large ways and small at any moment. And I think that we often forget that just because you've checked a box doesn't mean you can't uncheck it. That doesn't mean you can't totally reroute and be like, wait, hold on. How do I feel about this? Because at the end of the day, who cares what things look like from the outside world? How does it make you feel inside when you get up in the morning? so if you're, for me, I use the,

Kate (06:16.852)

Yes.

Kate (06:38.604)

Right.

Michelle Savage (06:41.09)

Feeling the pleasure the shiny object sort of as that guiding thing of well does this still get to stay? And it doesn't mean every day I like every aspect like you know I gotta pay taxes. Someday it's really hard.

Kate (06:44.014)

Thanks.

Kate (06:51.438)

No, sometimes it's hard. Those are the days you call up your entrepreneurial friends and you're like, I'm gonna burn this to the ground. And they're like, maybe wait a day and see how you feel about it tomorrow. And you're like, all right. Just a little bit.

Michelle Savage (07:04.557)

You'd sleep on that, would you? Yeah, Yeah you're so right. Having other friends who are entrepreneurs makes all the difference.

Kate (07:13.812)

my god, It's a game changer to have entrepreneurial friends, especially like a mix of people that are further along than you are that can kind of guide your path. And then coming up behind you so that you can do the same in turn and...

And they all, like, it doesn't matter if they've been in business for two years or 20, like, there's something that they can teach you about running a business or just a new perspective that you're like, completely different industry, but I never, I never thought about it that way. Or, you know, sometimes you're just too close to the problem and you need somebody from the outside to go, but this thing, and you're like, right, that thing. I forgot, I forgot I have that thing in my satchel of shiny objects and I really use that. So.

Michelle Savage (07:52.119)

Yeah.

Michelle Savage (07:55.82)

No kidding. It's sometimes hard to give yourself credit for what you actually know and you've accomplished, or at least it is for me. I'm like, go, go, go, constantly waking up in the night going, how can I do this better? How can I do that better? How can I, you know, on everything, it's a eternal question. Yeah.

Kate (08:02.7)

Yes. Yeah.

Kate (08:12.27)

It's constant development and being willing to learn. I remember as a kid thinking, I'm so excited to be done learning. don't spit out your water, your computer's there. But again, the most unhinged business podcast ever, but it's fun. But just like...

Michelle Savage (08:27.918)

You're taking a slip when you said that, it made me giggle.

Kate (08:38.264)

thinking I'm so excited to not have to read because I have to, you know, and like getting to do stuff for the joy of doing stuff and not because I'm being told you have to learn this because you're going to need to know how to do this someday. Like, and then realizing I really like to learn, but I like to learn in ways that are not friendly to the classroom. And so, you know, like it's still learning every single day just in very, different ways than.

Michelle Savage (08:58.816)

yeah, absolutely.

Michelle Savage (09:05.856)

It never stops.

Kate (09:06.766)

15, 20 years ago. Yeah, it's what a wild ride we're on.

Michelle Savage (09:10.764)

That's what I think I love about it though, is it's never, it's always dynamic. It's never boring. And even if nothing else changed in technology and different platforms, which it always is changing and evolving and the market is changing, the world is all of that. Even if it were exactly the same as it is now, there's still so much I don't know. I could continually learn what there is now. So it does feel, it doesn't really feel overwhelming to me. It just feels inspiring that there's always.

Kate (09:15.534)

Never will.

Kate (09:27.854)

weird.

Kate (09:38.554)

You just...

Michelle Savage (09:39.456)

new things to grab onto.

Kate (09:41.622)

And new people and new experiences and there's just like, there's so much out there and so many ways to access information and learn about different things. And like, it's just, it's great. I kind of dig it. Are you ready to pick a question?

Michelle Savage (09:54.272)

Yeah. Yeah. Oh Oh yeah, I get to pick. How many cards are there? I'm feeling number four today, which surprises me. I'm usually a number seven, so we'll see.

Kate (10:00.91)

We are 10, so you get to pick one through 10.

Kate (10:11.8)

It's a long question. But I think this is going to be a good one. I have a feeling you've guided a lot of women through a similar vibe. What role, are you ready? So exciting. What role has vulnerability played in your journey as an entrepreneur? Have there been moments when it felt necessary to show your human side to your team or customers?

Michelle Savage (10:14.599)

Michelle Savage (10:25.23)

but no pressure. Yeah.

Michelle Savage (10:38.952)

Only every single day. All the time. I think one of the things that I'm such a huge proponent on and was the foundation for our very first book in entrepreneurship is showing up both as the polished professional and a work in progress at the same time. And so I know that two and a half years in, I'm damn good at what I do and...

Kate (10:40.59)

All the time.

Michelle Savage (11:05.346)

I just started a podcast and didn't know what I was doing. So we've now recorded four whole episodes and there was that like, hey guys, I'm figuring this out. I hope it works out okay feeling and being honest about it and saying, I know 10 years from now, I'm gonna look back or 20 episodes, I'm gonna look back on the first season and go, and cringe and be like, I could have done that so differently. I could have asked this person a different interview question or, I cut them off. I'm just still learning how to.

Kate (11:10.222)

Yay!

Kate (11:17.752)

But even if it doesn't...

Kate (11:22.86)

Bye!

Kate (11:33.816)

Right.

Michelle Savage (11:34.594)

do everything in a way that I feel very confident about in that arena. So I think it's important to be able to be both, to say, know I'm good at this, and the other piece of it. But also, I went through a divorce last year, and a lot of people in my world, in my business networking groups, knew about it. Not that I was wearing it all over the place, but I wasn't my normal self for a couple of weeks there.

It was so nice to know that I was in community with other women who were like, we've got you. Come to this event, just put on some clothes and sit here and...

Kate (12:16.232)

Don't forget your big sash that they give you that says divorcee.

Michelle Savage (12:20.078)

Mine says times two. I'm a professional now. Not to brag, but... Well, this is a side note, and I'll get back to answering the rest of the question. But when I went last year to submit my, what is the paperwork to file for divorce? I went to the building where I had filed the first time. And I walk in and there's a security guard at the entrance.

Kate (12:23.466)

No!

Sometimes it takes a couple of tries.

I love it.

Michelle Savage (12:47.436)

And he said, what are you here for? said, I'm here to file my divorce paperwork. He said, actually that building is moved. It's now up four blocks and over one, et cetera, et cetera. And I said, I'm so sorry. It's only my second one. I'll get it better next time. I thought it was so funny. And he looked at me like, woman, what is wrong with you? Why are you making a joke right now? I've, you know, say, it's only my second one.

Kate (13:02.355)

but these are the jokes that carry us through!

Kate (13:08.959)

Hahaha!

Michelle Savage (13:14.742)

because it's such the wrong thing to say. Yeah.

Kate (13:17.39)

So adjacent story that is also slightly goofy. We do the South by Southwest Community Day each year and our first time we went was a couple of years ago, Heather, my business partner and I. And we were just going around and like we had cards with it, you know, like we did not have South by booth money, but we could go walk around and introduce ourselves. And at one table, I like...

Michelle Savage (13:25.475)

Thank you.

Michelle Savage (13:36.643)

Yeah.

Kate (13:41.622)

fumbled the cards or, you know, like I drop stuff and my response was, sorry, this is my first day with human hands. And like the people gave me the weirdest look.

Michelle Savage (13:48.142)

you

That's how we connect with people through humor. I think the one I had to hold back from saying because I didn't want to get banned was that I was in the Lifetime locker room at the gym and I was wearing a towel because I just come out of the shower and someone else was wearing their white towel and I wanted to be like, my God, we wore the same outfit. How embarrassing. Then I thought...

Kate (13:54.274)

What... What is?

Kate (14:03.342)

Ha!

Kate (14:12.088)

You got my note!

Michelle Savage (14:16.194)

They don't know me and I think it's, I'm giggling, so I think that's so funny. Like, we wore the same outfit. But then I have to hold back because not everyone's like you, Kate. Like if I said that to you, we would be fast friends. I'd be like, you're my people, but.

Kate (14:21.694)

It's funny.

Yeah, It's how I know is I make it slightly inappropriate joke and like, anyone who's like, okay, you're, you're

Michelle Savage (14:37.1)

Yeah. So you're one of us. But to get back to answering your question, she said I probably helped other people through the vulnerability piece. Well, as you know, we do multi-author books where we coach women through the process of writing a single chapter to be published as part of a collective. But often the stories they're writing are really vulnerable. Depending on the book topic, some of them are much more so.

But we, you so last year we published a book called Pieces to Purpose and dear Lord, it was just, you just get in and it's a safe space to be real with yourself and you're processing something you've been through and you're putting on the page and you know you're gonna hit the publish button and it's gonna go out into the world where other people are going to see this thing. And so I teach an entire session called How to Write About Hard Things Without Blowing Up Your Life and

Kate (15:25.902)

Alright.

Michelle Savage (15:36.416)

we do a whole litmus test. Yeah. So the whole process is really vulnerable for everybody in there because they're digging deep and they're challenging themselves to do something that's very public. Even if it's not a vulnerable story, just the process of writing and publishing can feel vulnerable. you're hoping like, is this good enough? Does anyone care what I have to say? So all of those sort of imposter syndrome things come up even with very accomplished women. I mean, highly accomplished women.

Kate (15:37.314)

Very good.

Kate (16:00.248)

Right.

Michelle Savage (16:06.281)

and

Kate (16:06.53)

There is anything that I've learned in 14 years, almost 15 years of being an entrepreneur. It's the women that I thought were so intimidating because they were so well put together. They are a hot mess in some ways, just like all of us. All of us.

Michelle Savage (16:20.43)

All of us. Yeah. So I think that one of my favorite things is to sort of get to facilitate the shift and get to be the safe space guide. I feel honored to be able to say, all right, let me help you figure out how to share your story. Let me help you figure out what to say on stage when we're at an author panel. I mean, I had an author in our last big event. She was clutching to this little piece of paper.

Kate (16:35.734)

Thank

Michelle Savage (16:49.698)

that she knew what the questions were gonna be on the panel before we got up there. And some of the authors are just really comfortable with public speaking, but she really wasn't. And so she said, I wrote my answers down, but I just can't remember what I'm gonna say. Can I take this up there? And I was like, you can do whatever you want. She looks at me like, I can? She goes, but can I read it? I said, yeah, it's your answer. What do you want? And once we got up there,

Kate (17:06.168)

Yeah.

Michelle Savage (17:14.006)

She sat up straight and when I got to her and I asked her her question, she didn't look at the paper once and she spoke from her heart with so much power. I got full body goosebumps just going, yes, you're doing it. Because you see this transformation happen when somebody is willing to step into their own power and be vulnerable and do the thing that they're scared of anyway.

Kate (17:19.566)

Kate (17:26.062)

Oh, thank you. It's alright.

Michelle Savage (17:42.594)

they build more confidence from doing it. And I love getting to be part of that process. So yes, to answer your question, I think it's really important to show it vulnerably and you can do that while still kicking ass.

Kate (17:56.514)

Yeah, it's always fascinating. Like you and I have very different industries, you know, but we're working with people who, again, we see people who like life is out of control at home. Like they might have it all together publicly because they feel like they have to, but home is a safe place to kind of fall apart and like you don't have to let anybody in, plain and simple, but there's so much shame.

Michelle Savage (18:02.328)

different.

Kate (18:25.186)

There's so much guilt. There's, in a lot of cases, trauma that they haven't processed and they don't understand why their space is so chaotic and so hard for them. And...

And we do a fair amount of like handholding through that process of like, this is not a moral failing that you have a heap of laundry here. Look at everything else that you're doing. Like you're an amazing mom, you're running a business that's like growing exponentially, you're on panels and you're writing a book and you're doing all these incredible things. Like of course your laundry is not the highest priority and it shouldn't be, but.

Michelle Savage (19:03.702)

Amen. Yeah.

Kate (19:06.882)

people have that deep-seated guilt that if they're not doing it all on their own, they're somehow failing or falling behind. Right, perfectly. And so to be able to go in and model vulnerability is so powerful. And it's incredible to see that shift where people go, I can ask for help. I can do this

Michelle Savage (19:12.312)

perfectly.

Kate (19:33.792)

speaking panel, you know, in a way, like, and it's okay, it's okay to have little guardrails and like your safety net. That's, that's totally fine, you know, and it's, and we, once you get through that vulnerability and see the growth, it's incredible to watch women really fully step into who they are.

at this phase in their life. Most of my friends at this point, we're in our 40s. And we've gotten divorces and kids and like so many friends have been diagnosed with ADHD, ADD, autism spectrum. And watching them...

undo kind of everything that they learned in childhood to suppress who they really are and just fully step into this is who I am and I'm unapologetic about it is amazing. And that's one thing I love about your books that you publish with these women is guiding them through that process to really say this is who I am and I'm not just good with it, but like I'm an incredible human and this is part of my story.

I love everything about that whole process and watching it happen.

Michelle Savage (20:53.646)

Thank you. You said something so important with your business is offering that support because often when we look at someone else who looks like they have it all together, they're like, wow, they're the best mom and they're the best dress and their business is making the most, you know, all these superlatives. know. And like you said, as soon as you peel back the curtain just a little bit, not like I want people to be failing in any, doesn't, but.

Kate (21:10.478)

They probably never feed their kids cereal for dinner.

Michelle Savage (21:23.532)

But to say it's okay that not every aspect of your life is polished to perfection, there are seasons for things. When I was raising three little kids, I was not thriving as a business owner. And that's not to say one can't, but I didn't have the kind of support. I was spread way too thin to have the bandwidth to do it all in the way that I can do it now, now that, you know, kids are...

much older and drive themselves around and things. It's a very different world, but it freed me up. And I know that there are lots of moms of young kids who are absolutely killing it, and that's amazing.

Kate (21:53.326)

Will do.

You

Kate (22:12.088)

think maybe we're freezing.

Michelle Savage (22:14.69)

I was just, we lost a connection there for a hot second. We went away.

Kate (22:15.561)

all right.

Sorry about that. Can't wait to see how this makes it through. See, and again, this is why we don't do a polished podcast, just because, like, life happens, and sometimes the internet is a little weird, and that's okay.

Michelle Savage (22:30.402)

Life happens. I know. I don't know what astrologically is happening today, but maybe it's a stars thing. I don't really know how that works, but yeah. All that is to say, I also love what you do, going into support women so that they can go do these other things in their lives and feel like they're not spread so thinly that they don't have the bandwidth for.

Kate (22:40.472)

Smiling now, it's fine.

Michelle Savage (22:54.978)

To even just be the moms they want to be or the business owners that they want to be or whatever they want to be. It's... Wow.

Kate (23:00.728)

friend, the partner, like it, there are just so many more important ways to spend your time than doing chores. If you, you know, and whether that's you have a friend that you swap with or you pay a service or you've got a family member that can come over and help watch the kids while you take care of chores or vice versa, you know, it just, like, I think historically,

The last, let's call it 70 years since the nuclear family really took hold and we moved away from intergenerational living in neighborhoods, you just like that, that ruthless independence has not served very many women well. And especially where it's been traditional family settings, know, mom stays home, dad's the breadwinner, couple of kids.

And then life shifts because that's what life does, whether it's an accident that causes a disability, whether it's divorce, whether it's being widowed. Having to figure it out loud again on the fly throws so many people for a loop. And how could it not? It's our first time as humans.

and we're all just doing our best to figure it out. as we got pulled away from that intergenerational living and community, doing it all ourselves is exhausting. And I think of coming of age in the 90s and early 2000s when it was the superwoman, you can have it all, not if you're doing it alone. It's not possible.

Michelle Savage (24:41.566)

yeah, you have to be it all and do it all, all the time, perfectly. No, the funny thing is, you know, as soon as women were "allowed to be entrepreneurs" or, you know, executives or leaders in their career, it didn't suddenly diminish their role at home. And so then they have the oneness, the burden, the emotional burden that moms have always had or wives have always had, even if you don't have children.

And you get to have all that and try to compete in your job. And so it backfired, right? right now there's a writing reflex that's happening. And I think that there's much bigger conversation happening that's saving marriages and saving women's mental health. It's so much more normal for a man to take more...

responsibility at home. And it's also, I remember as a kid, the idea of people who had housekeepers to me, was like, Richie Rich over there, you know, like that was something that was just never heard of.

Kate (25:50.412)

Again.

Michelle Savage (25:53.278)

Yeah, all right. You know, I only knew like maids and butlers were like the fanciest of people. I do not know what I would do without my housekeepers that come every other week and just knock down all the most important things. So everything is sanitized and I can tidy the rest. But I mean...

I just can't do it all. I cannot do it all. I have my lawn guy who comes every other week and is it landscaping? No, but it makes things nice and tidy and no neighbors have filed a formal complaint against me. I know I have complaints, but it looks just fine. Yeah.

Kate (26:22.318)

No one has complained. You truly are living the dream.

Michelle Savage (26:28.802)

But this is a thing too, like I tend to be sort of a hyper independent person and so I'll take too many things on and going back to like how you support other people and that's what we do in our business too is this collaboration is it's I've really come to cherish collaborations more than anything because it used to be you had to publish, write an entire book yourself and then you had to figure out how to launch it yourself and market it yourself and there were only limited ways to do this and

now these collaborative processes, you can do less work and have a much bigger impact in a supported community and it's a whole lot more fun. But it's women who are bringing these programs about. It's women like you who are creating businesses to support homes and families that need the support. So I really think that collaboration and that shared weight of any burden, whether it's in any kind of business, there's, it's a more streamlined process. It opens up.

bandwidth, but it also is so much more joyful to do things together. It's just easier for me.

Kate (27:35.244)

Yeah, it really is when each person can kind of pick up a small part instead of one person trying to do it all poorly because there's not enough time or bandwidth. Like it just, it magic happens and it's incredible.

Michelle Savage (27:48.078)

Did we talk about this? Did I ask you before about the book called Buy Back Your Time by Dan Martell?

Kate (27:56.564)

I have heard it. It's on my to listen list on Audible. I have a lengthy business book list on there.

Michelle Savage (28:06.454)

I just, yeah, same here. I just finished listening to it and I actually really liked the audible version because in between the chapters he adds extra commentary. But for someone like myself and others who are trying to build a business and scale it, I'm not trying, we are building and scaling businesses. It helps me think differently about what is the...

Kate (28:17.773)

I love that.

Kate (28:28.312)

Right?

Michelle Savage (28:34.83)

way that I can be most effective. And you and your business, you help other people get to hang out and spend more time in their zone of genius or their zone of joy, at least. And I really loved that book because it made me start thinking more about where do I get caught up in the minutia? Where can I put something on someone else's plate where they do it better and faster, or maybe they do it only 80 % as well, but gives me...

Kate (28:57.026)

man.

That is fine.

Michelle Savage (29:01.356)

that, but it's, but fine as done is better than perfect in those, certain cases. And you can pad for that and train for that and let go, and then spend more time doing the things that make a bigger impact and feel more meaningful and purpose-driven. And so I just was thinking about how, even though we have completely different businesses, it serves the same purpose for our clients. And I, I just hope that more and more women,

Kate (29:04.931)

Yes.

Michelle Savage (29:27.384)

Feel comfortable to ask for help and to collaborate in all of the ways.

Kate (29:31.63)

Yeah, it takes a little bit of work to undo that fiercely independent mindset. It took me until February of 2018. So it's been seven years now. And the thing that finally broke me of the habit of I can do this all alone was Mike, my husband, had a stem cell transplant. And so he was inpatient for three weeks.

and it was just me. We had a 14-month-old and a seven-year-old. And I had a business that I was running and all of a sudden, like, it was just me. And I finally went, you know what? It doesn't matter what form help comes in. Like, I just need help.

And so I swapped the lock on our door to a keypad and I, because I didn't need to have keys running around all over the place, but swapped to a keypad and people could come and go, drop off a meal in the fridge. They could do a load of laundry if that's what they had time for. You know, they could pick up or drop off kids, like whatever needed to happen. And anytime somebody offered, I just said yes.

Michelle Savage (30:46.7)

I'm gonna go switch my door to a keypad right now.

Kate (30:49.166)

I tell you, it was a game changer because I could unlock it remotely and like, it didn't matter if I was here or not, people could stop by and take care of us in the ways that they were able to.

Michelle Savage (31:03.982)

But it is those hard moments in life that sometimes invites in the help, but it softens you. And it reminds us too, it's not just us that we feel loved when we get the help. Other people feel joy when they get to help us. It's a gift to them. We know if any one of our friends and someone we love needed anything, we would find joy in helping them. We'd be, thank goodness I get to be there for you.

Kate (31:20.674)

Yes.

Michelle Savage (31:32.971)

There's actually something like chemical that's released called the helpers high. They've done all kinds of studies on the recipient.

Kate (31:36.942)

Is that what I've been doing the last 14 years?

Michelle Savage (31:40.428)

Yeah, your business is built on the helper's high. But when you do something kind for someone, it releases some chemical in the brain that makes you feel good. But the cool thing is, it's not only in the moment that it releases the chemical, it's when you remember doing the thing, it gets released again. And so when you spend your life doing kind things for other people, it's just really selfish. No, I'm kidding. No, it doesn't only benefit them.

Kate (32:01.09)

helping other people.

Kate (32:07.118)

That's what so many women think, is if they ask for and receive help, it's selfish, and it's not. It's a radical form of self-care, and one that...

Michelle Savage (32:12.366)

Yes.

Michelle Savage (32:18.446)

Absolutely.

Kate (32:21.336)

We work really hard with our clients to reinforce that idea. You're not being selfish by not doing the laundry. You are delegating that. And in that delegation, taking care of yourself by giving you a little more breathing room and space to think about more important things, you know? Like, especially when you're going through a huge life change, whether it's...

Michelle Savage (32:35.022)

here.

Kate (32:45.494)

treatment for cancer or loss in the family or even something joyful like a new baby, it's still a huge transition. And relearning or learning this new life with the new circumstance. It's just, and being able to truly connect with other people is really what fuels continuing on and like developing a whole new life around the new circumstance.

Michelle Savage (33:01.293)

Absolutely.

Michelle Savage (33:15.064)

think it's hard sometimes to even imagine that there's another way or they're like, I can do this, I can do this because it's a little thing or I can stand that thing because it's a little thing. But what happens is those things keep coming around, coming around, even if it's something in your mind, our thoughts go around and around. And so I'd love to do this exercise once every six months or so. And I call it, well, it's sometimes called the bitch list, but it's really about

Kate (33:30.744)

I'm coming in.

Michelle Savage (33:43.874)

your tolerances because what you tolerate is just you allowing something to persist in your life. And it could be something really tiny like the door handle on the back door jiggles and it jiggles every time and I never, know, it takes five seconds to get out a screwdriver and fix it or there's a draft and I don't go to Lowe's and buy this strip, whatever it is in the house. It could be that, or it could be something in your business of this is a tedious thing.

anything, it could be huge, could be, it could be your spouse is a bummer and it's never going to change and you've done all the therapy, not aligned with your highest mission, whatever, you know, they're a bummer. You're a bummer. That's problem. But then you go get the therapy. if you make a very full

Kate (34:17.646)

That's very nice way of putting that.

Kate (34:27.694)

What?

Michelle Savage (34:36.18)

a bridged list that no one will ever see of all your discontents, large and small, you look at what you've been tolerating and then I like to divide it, know, in like the almost like a Dave Ramsey snowball thing where you're like, okay, first of all, one half is what is the stuff I there is nothing that can be done about it. Not that I don't have the money, not that I don't know how, but there is no solution I can affect. I can't choose a different president right now. For example,

That's gonna go on the list of like, all right, I don't love it, but it's gotta go on that can't do nothing about it list at the moment. Everything else that something could be done about, I just make this multiple. I'm like, okay, well, what can be calendared? Put everything on a calendar. Maybe one day you knock 10 easy things off, your list shrinks pretty fast. And some things you need, you need help, you need to hire a professional or you need to save up money to repair the back patio, et cetera.

or to hire that new team member that's gonna make all the difference in your business, you have to get there. But when I look at all the stuff that causes friction in my life, and this could help when someone's like, how would I use Kate? How would I use her business? What are the things causing friction in your life? And for a lot of entrepreneurs that I work with, they're like, I've tried to write a book. I have an outline and two shameful chapters, incomplete on my, like we're,

whatever business you're in, you're the solution to someone else's problem. So also remember that when you're out there selling yourself and feeling really cringy about it, you're somebody's like, thank God I found you because they have this list of tolerances of things they can't stand and you are the solution to the thing they need help with. So whatever business anybody is listening has, remember that. I, know,

Kate (36:14.124)

Right.

Michelle Savage (36:27.328)

It does help if you're looking at your life and looking at all the operations in your business to say, what's not going so well? What can actually be done about it? And then how do I put it on the calendar? So you check it off and life happens six months from now. You're going to need to do it again, but you're, you're upgrading your life in pretty actionable ways and not just kind of waiting for things to blow by you on a sweet breeze.

Kate (36:49.88)

to happen. I don't know about you, but I am not a person that sits back and waits for things to happen. I'm like, no, I can fix this. I can fix it now.

Michelle Savage (36:56.856)

Yeah.

I do maybe know that about you, Kate, which is why you're such a go-getter,

Kate (37:03.566)

I'm just... I'm something. Some days are a little more adventurous than I should probably do, but that's fine.

Michelle Savage (37:10.158)

I enjoy it here.

There's something about that, all entrepreneurs, especially the women that I know, there's a feistiness. There's a little sparkle in everybody's eye. like, you see them from across the you're in the tribe of the somewhat insane, but really excited to create the tribe.

Kate (37:24.526)

Kate (37:30.626)

I do feel like you have to be a little unhinged to like start a business and keep it going is just like you've got to be a little bit crazy and

Michelle Savage (37:43.726)

Isn't it the best? Isn't it just kind of the best?

Kate (37:47.95)

It is the best. So much freedom in owning a business. You can have so much freedom. It's an untethered freedom. So much freedom. So free, free, free.

Michelle Savage (37:49.752)

Yeah.

Michelle Savage (37:55.894)

Untethered freedom.

Yeah. Yeah.

Kate (38:03.254)

Well, thank you so much for joining us today on Bearing It All, Michelle. Be sure to join us for future conversations and keep building those authentic, genuine connections with people that support you in being your true and full self in your business, your relationships, and your life.

Michelle Savage (38:20.622)

So fun.